JOU+EM

Eleanor's Journal

JOU 1:

My favorite poem that we have read thus far is "Welcome Morning" by Ann Sexton. Aside from Sexton's beautifully simplistic syntax and thought provoking analysis, I was more interested by her background and how it often influenced her writing. The other three poems that we read appealed to me more at first in terms of detail, fluidity, and the overarching themes and connotations in each. However, when I reached the biographies on each of the authors, I was immediately drawn to Sexton. Poetry was what carried her through her life. It was a safe haven for her. Somewhere where she could develop her thoughts, release her pressing emotions, and ultimately find not only herself, but also God. I have always been interested in female poets, as the majority of poets that I have studied throughout the course of my schooling have been men. One such woman is Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, who suffered a variety of hardships that included female inferiority during her lifetime. Sor Juana's refuge from this mistreatment was also poetry, and she poured all of her fears, anxieties, and sadness into her writing. Her writing, like Sexton's, employed great emotion and sincerity. In one of her poems where she grieves the loss of a dear friend, Sor Juana writes, "and may these clumsy scribblings represent/black tears my pen has shed to ease its pain." This is one example of how eloquently Sor Juana expressed her profound emotions through her powerful skill as a writer. Sexton, on the other hand, does not rely on groundbreaking expression or dynamic verse in this poem. She solely praises the small things that she encounters on a daily basis and finds joy in expressing her love of God and His presence in all that she sees, hears, and does. This message is equally as powerful as Sor Juana's expression of loss and pain, only different. Most importantly, these women are fine examples of the voice that can be found through writing and our ability to express what we feel.

GG: I shall havae to learn more about Sor Juana. You touch on the voice of women. It is sometimes hard today to realize that in my lifetime (and probably in your parents') women have changed. They still somewhat struggle to find that voice, but it is much easier now. Sexton was a beautiful, simple style. It is very sad that her hope failed her, and despair took hold. It is a loss to all of us.

JOU 2: I found Colours by Yevgeny Yevtushenko to have incredibly personal and profound imagery. The author does not just state his sadness and expound on that alone. Rather, he brings God's light into his life and slowly digresses from his pain. While reading this poem, I was strongly drawn towards an image of the sun. This sun is filled with God's light and grace, towers over our lives, transcends all matters of time, and rises and sets alongside us each day. Comparing God to the sun is a unique and effective tactic, but it is also filled with beautiful imagery and grace-filled symbolism. The author's sadness, juxtaposed with the light God brings to the world, makes for an incredible piece of work that forces readers to stop and look to their own sun, their own God. Fear and suffering are momentary, but the sun is with us forever. Things fall apart, our days, weeks, and years do not go the way we planned, people come and go, but the sun is there forever. We must remind ourselves of this. We must remember to look to God and all His light and be thankful for his enduring presence in our lives.

GG: Put titles of poems in quotation marks. As I noted in your essay, EM, one could see the "you" as God; however, that is interpretation. From what I know of YY, he is speaking of a person. Just be careful to differential between your interpretation and the poet's intentions.

JOU 3: I experience God in my world each day. I feel He is present in my life not just when I am in church or praying at night, but when I wake up in the morning and am surrounded by loved ones, when I am snuggling with my dog, when I see my friends' smiling faces, and when I realize how blessed I am day in and day out. It is the small things in life that bring a smile to my face--a simple "hello" in the hallway, catching up with an old friend, or seeing my parents hug by the coffee pot in the morning. These are things that allow me to recognize God's presence in my life and the grace He grants us with day in and day out. I may not see a baby born every day of my life or a beautiful sunset, but it is in knowing that these things occur each day and bring happiness to this world that allows me to recognize God's love incarnated in our world.

GG: A nice reflection, EM. I sometimes think that God's creatures reveal His face more than some humans. There is something so innocent...

JOU 4: The grandmother is constantly placing a definition on what a "good man" is. She overuses the term and leads herself to believe that she has encountered a good man so much that one would believe that in fact a good man is not very hard to find. That is the irony of the entire story--the characters search for perfection and goodness so much that ultimately they are dissolved by sin and imperfection. The grandmother has a loose definition for the term "good." She tells Red Sammy that he was a good man for allowing himself to be cheated by the two men at the gas stations, and suddenly readers are led to believe that naiveté and incontinence make a man "good." In other words, the title makes a definite statement when the characters themselves do not even know what a truly "good man" is. How can they really know if one is that hard to find?

GG: Can you see a pattern with Flannery O'Connor?

JOU 5:

What a tough question! I do not think I would treat him any differently because of his name or his reputation. I would meet him the same way I meet anyone else. I would introduce myself, he would introduce himself, we would sit down over a cup of coffee (something tells me he would have an alcoholic beverage), and we would simply talk. I would get to know him on a blank slate, as though I knew nothing of him beforehand. He may be as violent as the story alludes or he may be as kind and welcoming as his sudden change of heart foreshadows. For this reason, I would not treat him any differently, I would simply get to know him as who he is--whether this is a misfit or a fit, but who really knows the definition of either?

GG: How hard it is to get beyond our prejudices. How do you think he would react to you, EM?

JOU 6:

I would first tell this peer not to worry, for I was at first very apprehensive before reading this story myself. It is important to know the background and context of this story before delving into it. This story took place during a time where blacks were not equal to whites the way they are today. They were driven out of towns, segregated, and mistreated. The word "nigger" did not mean anything to whites except a word they used to call those they believed were below them. Though a harsh title, it is important that we understand the overall harshness that existed in society during this time period or else we will miss a lot throughout the story. Mr. Head and his people have a very skewed view of black people, and this view manipulates his grandson Nelson, forces Mr. Head and Nelson to astray from the true path of love, and creates a very harsh society that creates an interesting backdrop for the plot. Everything about this story, from the time we open it after reading the title to the very end is harsh, and as readers we must accept this. If we do not accept this we will miss the eventual softness and "tender mercy" that enters the story and makes it so wonderful. GG: This sounds like a review on a book jacket. Very nicely done!

JOU 7:

When my mom had cancer, it was a very difficult time for each member of my family. Though it was a struggle for each of us, I look back and thank God that I have a such a strong family that was able to endure this struggle together. I once resented God for placing this hardship on my family, but now I thank Him, for I know that I am stronger today because of what my family went through. I know that I have a special kind of relationship with each member of my family because of the individual struggles that we each underwent. Looking back on this time in our lives today, though it was a tragic time, we often joke about it. I believe our ability to laugh and attain a sense of humor was what allowed us to make it through my mom's sickness. My mom and I often laugh about the time we sat in the Costco parking lot eating a loaf of bread together and crying. We used to tease my mom and say that we were in a way glad she was sick, because for once we got to eat dessert because other people were cooking for us! There were many times when I saw my mom struggling to complete basic tasks around the house and we would just have to sit on the kitchen floor, cry, laugh, or return to our spots in bed with thai food and 24 marathons. Often God presents us with hardship, but His grace always shines through in the moments where we can take a vacation from our sorrows and experience, love, laughter, and faith. GG: If God is as we imagine - and God is more! - then God can accept and understand our anger just as a loving parent does. My mother had radical breast surgery in 1974. She was and continues to be a very strong and determined person. She would sometimes laugh (rather than cry) when things were out of sorts. Humor is a grace too!

JOU 8: I do not believe I know enough of the priest yet to really judge him. Though the novel is filled with his thoughts and feelings, and we are only on the fifth chapter, I would still like to really follow him throughout the novel through a variety of experiences to truly say how I feel about him. Though the novel thus far is rather dry and dare I say, depressing, I can in some way see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am rooting for the priest, which I suppose suggests that I do like him, even though his depressive thoughts and often subjection to the melancholy in this town drag me down a little bit. The priest stands as a symbol for all human beings. His ability to express his feelings and share his vulnerability is very honorable, and although the novel is rather dry, we readers can gain a lot of insight into the priest and ourselves from reading it. GG: If you can root for him, it means you see some redemptive side to him and that you may identify a bit with him - identify in a literary sense.

JOU 9: This statement from the Cure reminded me of the whole "everything happens for a reason" spiel that many often preach, but it was a little bit worse. While I am a big believer that everything indeed works out the way it is supposed to, I've always been a little bothered when someone tells me this during a hard time. Sure, for college acceptances and rejections and the little things that happen throughout our days it is a great thing to keep in mind. But when something major, like a death in the family, has occurred it is hard to be told that it was meant to happen. We do not ever like to think that God is punishing us. We want to think of him as a friend or a father figure, not as someone who would intentionally put us through pain and suffering. When the Cure told the priest this, I was immediately worried. The priest is already undergoing so much hardship that it would be terrible for him to think that God wants him to stay in this state of suffering. The Cure should have gone about this conversation better by telling the priest that although the going may be tough at the moment, he must trust in God's grace. This would have a been a more uplifting sentiment, but it seems the Cure wants us to bear a little bit more of the priest's depression! GG: You bring wisdom to the conversation, Eleanor. We often ask who is God? I think one consistent answer is "love." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiGZ9j3OD88&feature=related

JOU 10: /11

I never really pondered the idea of "grace" until I began religion with you at the beginning of this year. Grace has been a central theme throughout our studies. We have discussed it endlessly, we have discovered it in our readings, and we have learned to recognize it in our own lives (or to at least try to). Yet because of this, it is easy to limit grace to a textbook definition or a recurring discussion from class. Though it may sound dramatic, I feel as though I suffered alongside the priest when reading this novel. While reading it, it was as though my own life had no light or grace. While the optimistic side of me hoped the priest would live happily ever after, when the novel ended with this line, I finally felt at peace. I did not feel at peace because the book was over or because everything was resolved, but I felt content. I felt certain that the priest found some sense of peace and comfort in his life through death, and all this story needed in the end was for him to recognize God's grace and voice it--it did not need a fairy tale ending, and that is exactly it. God's grace is all we need. Yes, it is "God's love freely given", but grace is present in everything that we see, hear, and do. God guides us with sincere purpose and direction, and although we may stray from a straight path at times, it is God's grace that brings us home. God's grace is present in the smiles on the faces of those around us, the happy feeling we get when we finish a book like __The Diary of a Country Priest__, and the simple veracity that surrounds us when we recognize the ability to be at peace with ourselves, others, and God. GG: If you can so relate to a character, EM, that is a powerful thing. Good for you, and good for Bernanos! As you think about this, give a little recollection to Bonhoeffer's "cheap" and "costly" grace. What do you think?

JOU 12:

The two words that stuck out to me the most from this list were "suffering" and "redemption." These two words are incredibly pertinent to the novel, and through them we discover the boundless other themes and messages that this novel contains. As readers we experience the priest's suffering first hand, and we begin to feel his pain ourselves. As we are dragged down alongside the priest, we begin to contemplate our own battles and demons; we begin to recognize our own need for salvation. Of course, literature that has this effect is wildly powerful--both effective in its purpose and beautiful in its relevance. The entire novel, really, can be summed up using the words "suffering" and "redemption," and though a lofty summarization, so too can life. Through suffering we find both ourselves and God, and as we saw in the priest, we also come to recognize God's grace. There would be no life without suffering, no new beginnings without redemption, and there is no real purpose to live if we choose to live lives absent of God's grace. GG: The theology of redemption is quite a topic to study. Some think we must earn our own salvation. In fact, we believe that Jesus "purchased" our redemption on the cross with his life. It is our challenge to live that redemption.


 * JOU 13 ** : What is the nature of Morris’ words to Catherine: “You must tell me … that if your father is dead against me, if he absolutely forbids our marriage, you will still be faithful”?

Morris' insecurity regarding whether or not Catherine's father likes him furthers the major recurring theme in the novel thus far of how inferior the characters feel in comparison to Dr. Sloper. Yet in actuality, each of the characters has his or her own set of insecurities. Dr. Sloper is a man of medicine yet his wife and son are both dead. Catherine herself is in desperate need of her father's approval, so really she and Morris are coming from the same position, which is why her response to Morris is rather apprehensive and indecisive. The people who work in the house, and even Dr. Sloper's sisters, scurry around town attempting to please Dr. Sloper and tiptoe around him and his lack of approval for many things. While most of the characters are described as being rather lowly and insecure, even if they are not they are in one another's eyes, Morris is depicted as beautiful and charming. This portrayal of Morris amidst the other characters makes him seem somewhat of a phony, but thus far I see him no differently than the other characters--evolving and in need of maturing, desperately seeking approval. GG: Keep a watch, EM. Is he beautiful and charming and phony or beautiful and charming and lovingly insecure?

JOU 14: If you were Catherine, what would you be writing in your diary?

I tried to keep a journal once, and I ended up either ripping out pages or scribbling on them. If I were Catherine, at this point in this story, I would be burning pages, poking holes in my diary, and probably writing in outright gibberish. There is no way that I would not be downright outraged with all of the people around me trying to tell me which way to go. Catherine must feel completely alone, and although she is trying to be mature and strong, her determination is waning and she soon will realize that she is defenseless against her father and the tangled web of scheming aunts. Catherine is undergoing a great deal of growth--especially from chapter ten to eleven--whether she realizes it or not. If I were her, I would explore this growth and use my diary as a means of further self evolvement, reflection, and independence. GG: I wonderful how James would write this novel in 2012?

JOU 15: “There are no unimportant experiences, only inadequate ways of looking at them.”

I relate this quote to the novel as a whole. I keep saying to myself, "there's no way this has anything to do with Christian themes!" It is ironic that our author himself said this quote, and it certainly helps me to look at the novel in a new light. Everything in life is important--in the seemingly unimportant blink of an eye, everything can change. This quote inspires me, though I have already finished it, to really contemplate the novel further and explore ways in which I can grow closer the novel as a whole, extrapolate Christian themes, and draw meaning from the work. GG: You've made me rethink the relevance of this novel for this course. Thank You!